


Splinter

by stillskies



Series: Touch the Dark [1]
Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-04
Updated: 2012-03-04
Packaged: 2017-11-01 03:25:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillskies/pseuds/stillskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashiwara tries to drown his sorrows in Ogata.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Splinter

**Author's Note:**

> Written for round 2 of [Blind Go](http://blind-go.livejournal.com/).

The stale smell of tobacco curled around him slowly, wrapping around his body and seeping into his suit, mixing with the acrid smell of alcohol he had spilled earlier in the evening. Moonlight streamed through the window, illuminating the man standing in front of it, a man that shouldn't be there but was nonetheless. Red and orange flared from the tip of the cigarette as the man took another drag, slowly releasing the toxic fumes into the too small room. 

"I won't give you happily ever after," Ogata warned, tilting his head so that the pale light glinted ominously against his glasses. 

Ashiwara stared at the colorless carpet. "I don't want happily ever after," he choked out, fighting to keep the tremor from his voice. "I want happily right now." 

Silence greeted his statement, punctuated by the slight wheeze in Ogata's breathing as he released another cloud of gray smoke into the air. Tears pricked the corners of Ashiwara's eyes, but he valiantly blinked them away and pushed aside the quiet desperation overwhelming him. Bile stuck to the back of his throat, a vile reminder of the night. 

Finally, Ogata dropped the cigarette into the ashtray and Ashiwara watched the cinders from the tip sputter and die out. Arms wrapped around his waist and cold lips nuzzled against his neck, arms and lips that he did not recognize but knew all the same. Clothes fluttered to the ground, white Armani and his own department store brand mixing together. 

Sheets scratched uncomfortably against his skin, another reminder that this was wrong, that he shouldn't be here, not with this man. He ignored it. Ogata tasted of ash and liquor and regret, and he knew the taste would linger into the morning. Despite knowing that, he threw himself into the actions, gasping, writhing and bucking his hips. 

If he closed his eyes, he could almost make out the face of someone else. He kept his eyes wide open, forcing himself to take in the image of the man above him, to burn the smug expression into his mind and chase out the burning hatred of another. 

Cold, calloused fingers flitted against his sides and a choked sob escaped from his throat. Teeth tugged roughly on a nipple, and he cried out, hot tears searing paths down his cheeks. 

Still, he kept his eyes open, staring blindly at the ceiling and wrapping himself in sensation. Memories of a burning touch and sweet words whispered in his ear flirted with the edges of his mind. Instead, he focused on the freezing lips and icy touch, the harsh panting and sickly sweet smell of tobacco and alcohol. 

He heard his name whispered hoarsely as Ogata entered him, ignoring Ashiwara's discomfort and the tense hold of his body. He squeezed his eyes shut in defeat, allowing a different face to fill his mind's eye. Suddenly, the weight of his memories rushed past the tenuous hold he'd had on them and he gasped. Ogata must have taken the reaction as approval, for he thrust into him harder, faster, before taking his erection in hand and pumping it roughly. 

Ashiwara's breathing became shallow gasps, his legs spreading wider as he bucked into Ogata's hand. He kept his eyes closed, almost able to fool himself into thinking that it was somebody else inside of him, another's hands clutching his arms painfully, someone else's lips brushing sporadic kisses against his jaw, and he came with an anguished cry, Ogata following moments later. 

A lump lodged itself in his throat and he swallowed past it thickly. The hiss of the lighter, and subsequent flare as the flame met the cigarette butt, illuminated the shadows around them briefly before dying out. Soon, the pale gray smoke curled into the air in a haphazard sequence, and Ogata's content sigh echoed in his ears. His stomach lurched, and he sprung from the bed as he raced to the restroom. 

He wondered briefly how he could still vomit with nothing left in him, and the acid burned against his throat mockingly in answer. 

Ogata found him crumpled on the floor moments later staring blankly at the water in the bowl. An exasperated sigh reached his ears but it did not incite him to action. He sat listlessly until the older man wrapped an arm around him and lifted him off the ground. Ogata thrust a white yukata into his hands, and he slowly put it on. 

"Clean yourself up, Ashiwara," Ogata ordered. "There's a spare toothbrush in the cabinet. I'll take you home in the morning." 

"I can't," he whispered. 

Ogata frowned. "What do you mean you can't?" he asked suspiciously. "Surely you can wash up on your own."

Ashiwara shook his head vehemently. "I can't," he choked out, his voice trembling. "I can't go back. He doesn't want me anymore." Tears cascaded down his cheeks again, and he made no move to wipe them away. "I can't. What am I going to do?" 

Ogata said nothing, face harsh in the fluorescent lighting. 

"I will take you home in the morning, Ashiwara," he replied more firmly after a moment. "You will deal with whatever problems you have with him." 

"I can't!" Ashiwara sobbed. "He didn't want me then, why would he want me now? After I… After I… God. What have I done?" He fell to the floor, cradling his head in his hands, body shaking with sobs. 

An arm wrapped around his shoulders, and Ashiwara blinked through the tears to see Ogata sitting next to him with an annoyed expression. "You were drunk," he said. 

"No," Ashiwara protested. "I wasn't. I-"

Ogata cut him off. "You were drunk," he repeated seriously. "I took advantage of you. That's all there is to it. Now, get ready for bed." 

With that, Ogata stood and left him alone. 

The cold tile seeped through the thin yukata, and Ashiwara shivered, broken and alone on the floor.


End file.
